Pantie thief jailed

A thief who kept swiping skimpy underwear has been jailed for a year.
Oddball Anthony Allen Scholfield had been accused of breaking into a woman’s home while she was out of town and stealing three pairs of her thong knickers.
Cops arrested the 25-year-old after discovering the stolen lingerie at his home.
They later linked Scholfield, who will reportedly have to register as a sex offender because of his crimes, to the theft of a staggering 854 panties.

Chocolate-pushing bunny

A German man has taken legal action… against the Easter Bunny.
Karl-Friedrich Lentze has reportedly accused the holiday rabbit of making people addicted to chocolate, which he says could lead to health problems.
The Berlin resident filed a grievous bodily harm complaint with prosecutors.
He said: “The Easter Bunny is a sadistic and unscrupulous offender who preys on people’s sweet tooth.
“Find this evil bunny, handcuff his paws and remove him from shops in time for Easter.”

Village’s feline banquet

Chinese villagers forked out almost £900 for a lavish feast – for their cats.
People living in Sanjiang, in Guangdong province, raised the cash because they wanted to thank almost 200 felines for chasing rats off their farms – and saving their harvest.
The village committee had bought the cats and released them onto their land after the area became rat infested earlier this year.

Pensioner’s slow fine

An 82-year-old US woman was slapped with a $114 fine – for crossing a street too slowly.
Mayvis Coyle, who walks with a cane, started making her way across the road when the light was green but was going so slowly she was still crossing when it turned red.
She was shocked when an officer told her she was obstructing traffic and gave her a ticket.
She said: “I think it’s completely outrageous. He treated me like a six-year-old, like I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Los Angeles police sergeant Mike Zaboski said cops are cracking down to prevent pedestrian accidents.
But he added he could not comment on Coyle’s ticket.

Man’s soul sale

A cash-strapped man tried to sell his soul on an online auction site.
The Shanghai resident drew 58 bids on Taobao - the country’s main internet auction site – before his advert was taken down.
Porter Erisman, a spokesman for Taobao’s parent company, Alibaba.com, said the firm wasn’t opposed to the sale, but needed stronger proof the seller could provide the goods.
He added: “After some discussion, we decided that we will allow the member to sell his soul on Taobao, but only if he can provide written permission from a ‘higher authority’.”

Coin thief foiled

An Australian man has admitted stealing more than £40,000 in new coins – which he sneaked out of work in his boots.
The 48-year-old, who was employed by the Royal Australian Mint, stole the money over a ten-month period.
A police spokesperson said: “He would take the coins from the trays they were placed in after stamping and conceal the coins in his pocket.”
He then went to the toilet and transferred the money into his boots.
The thief was arrested earlier this year after trying to change the coins into notes.

Son’s phone bill shock

A shocked Malaysian man has received a phone bill for £125 trillion.
Yahaya Wahib admits he was lost for words when Telekom Malaysia sent him the staggering bill – which is for more money than the country has in its national vault.
Mr Wahib said of the bill, which was for his dead father’s phone line: “If the company wants to seek legal action, I'm ready to face it.
"In fact I can't wait to face it.”
Telekom Malaysia is looking into the case.

Wife’s pricey spring clean

A Japanese woman was horrified when she threw out the rubbish – and realised she’d tossed out 5 million yen with it.
The woman hadn’t known her 35-year-old husband had hidden the cash – about £24,000 - in the rubbish bag for safe keeping.
He had been worried the money might be stolen after he withdrew it from a bank.
Luckily, the bag of cash was discovered at a refuse collection point last month.
Police gave it back after the man gave details of the amount and where he had drawn it out.

Employee’s pizza payout

Brazil’s aviation authority has been ordered to pay an ex-employee £10,000 compensation – and a slice of pizza.
Infraero has to fork out the money after the former member of staff claimed his boss started calling him “bin cleaner” after he swiped a piece of pizza from a trash can.
Judge Eduardo Vieira de Oliveira said: “The slice of pizza was to make the boss think better the next time he wants to make fun of someone in the work place.”

Puppy’s metal meal

A three-month-old puppy swallowed an 11 inch metal tent pig – and lived.
Staffordshire bull terrier Disa apparently ate the peg – which was almost as long as her – while she was playing in the garden.
Her worried owner, Peter Jones, took her to the vet when she started to throw up – but had no idea the pooch had eaten anything unusual.
He said: "I was so shocked when the vet rang to say they had discovered an eleven-inch tent peg in her abdomen.
"I can’t even understand how she managed to swallow it, as she isn't much longer than the peg itself."
Vets operated to remove the peg.

Doughnut bomb

A bomb squad team were stunned when the explosive they were called to diffuse turned out to be a bag of doughnuts.
The explosives experts were contacted after the ‘suspicious package’ was delivered to a US fire station.
Fire fighters thought the sack had been dropped off by a woman who often bothered them – but it was actually a sweet treat from a kindly resident.
When the bag was opened they saw a pile of cakes and a thank you note.

Granny’s 5p debt

A grandmother was flabbergasted when a bailiff came to her house – for 5p.
Alice Nelson - who had lived at the house for almost half a century – couldn’t believe it when the man asked her to hand over 5p on the spot.
Her daughter said: "We didn't know if it was a joke or whether he was trying to get into her house to steal something. I spoke to him over the phone and he explained he had been sent round to collect my mother's arrears.
"I couldn't understand it as my mum had always been up to date with her rent.”
She added: “She paid the 5p because she didn't know what else to do."

Firm’s flood tours

A quick-thinking travel agency is offering “disaster holidays” to flooded areas of Budapest.
Hungarian firm Popeye is even advising tourists on how to get to the ‘best’ sites – which flooded when the River Danube overflowed.
A spokesman said: “We’re not sure how much longer we can offer these tours for, as the water will go down soon, but so far it's been a great success.
“It doesn't matter which part of the world you come from, people always love disaster.”

Nudist's burn mistake

An Australian nudist burnt his bum as he tried to kill a spider.
The 56-year-old man was pouring petrol into what he thought was the nest of a deadly funnel web spider.
But when he lit the match, the blast left him with burns over 18 percent of his body.
A helicopter ambulance crew attended the scene and said the man's state of undress probably contributed to the extent of the burns.

Screw sold for... £55

A rusty screw has fetched £55 on eBay.
DIY shop boss Ben Talbot, 23, sold the screw as a joke through the internet auction site, and admits he was surprised when he got seven bids.
He said: "I seriously wasn't expecting any."
Chantal Bell, 24, confessed she bid on the nail when she was drunk because her friend joked she wanted a "good old screw".
She said: "I'm a bit embarrassed. I was quite drunk when I bid for it.
"Next time I'm on eBay, I'll make sure I'm sober."

Tot's lie ban

A three-year-old gave her dad up to the cops - because he’d taught her to tell the truth.
The youngster’s dad was hiding from police because he’d raced off when he was stopped for speeding.
When officers knocked on his front door his wife said he wasn’t there.
She was shocked when their little girl interrupted, and told the police: “Daddy is here”.
She then led them to his hiding place.
Her dad said: "I can't be angry with her, she was just doing what we've always told her and that's not to tell lies."

Potato shoot-out

A Swedish man has been arrested - for shooting potatoes out of his window with a homemade gun.
The 25-year-old said he was inspired by seeing a potato thrower on television.
He was caught loading the weapon and firing the vegetables from a balcony into the car park below.
Police said the makeshift weapon could be more powerful than a revolver.

Drugs stashed in bananas

A supermarket worker was gobsmacked when he opened a shipment of bananas – and discovered 44lb of cocaine.
The man, an employee at a Munich store, realised the case was packed full of the illegal drug when he removed the top layer of fruit.
More than 30 police were called to investigate the mysterious find.
They spent hours digging through the rest of the shipment but didn’t uncover any more cocaine.

Cuddlers face jail

A Chinese couple have landed themselves in hot water with the police – for cuddling.
Ooi Kean Thong and Siow Ai Wei are facing up to a year in jail after they were spotted hugging and kissing in public in Malaysia – because it breaches the city’s morality laws.
Attorney S. Selvam denies the couple – who are in their 20s – were breaking the law.
He says they were only summoned to court because they refused to bribe enforcement officials.
He added: “The girl was playing a violin and the boy was reading to her.”

Hooker confession

Romanian prostitutes are queuing up to confess their sins over Easter.
The sex workers, from the town of Botosan, have reportedly agreed to stop selling their bodies for the holiday weekend – which they admit is ‘low season’ in their trade.
Instead, the women are taking an extra long break so they can go to church and confess what they have been doing.